It was April and the city in the
foothills where she had been born, brought up and married was pleasant. It
always was at this time of the year. Cool with the Amaltas starting to blossom
and all the trees verdant with new leaves. Life seemed to spring afresh from
every nook and corner of this beautiful green city. The mood was festive and it
was the last day of the Navratra fasts for Lord Ram’s birth.
Mitali was sitting in the temple
with her brother and bhabhi. As usual Rakesh her husband was not with her. Her
niece their first born, was in her lap. It was her Mundan and the little child was
very upset with her hair being shorn. She was crying hard and the temple bells
were ringing loud.
Mitali didn’t notice when the
phone rang. He always gave such short missed calls! Sometimes the call went off
in seconds. Once she had noticed it after three hours and she could not call
back. It was the Standard Operating Procedure(SOP) he said, “I don’t want to
ring the warning bells at your home. As such I am always scared for you.”
She had been unwell for the last
many days. For days now Suveer had not bothered to call. She was upset with him
although she knew he was changing cities after another transfer and Aruna, his
wife, was always at loggerheads with him. Mitali resented how easily he could detach
himself from her and go back to his normal life- time and again.
Her case was different; he was
constantly on her mind. Every song she heard, every phrase she read, every
dialogue she heard reminded her of him. At this age she had again fallen head
over heels in love with a man she had met after 18 years. She knew that
Suveer felt the same, but he just couldn't express himself the way she did. “You
are the word wizard whileI am the inarticulate one.” He always teased her.
Mitali was 33 now, married with
two children. She did not look her age. She was of average height, with a
wheatish complexion and a full figure she could still call good. She dressed
smart, always suiting the occasion. Today she was wearing a green and beige
Churidaar suit. It was appropriate for the temple puja. She didn’t have to go
anywhere else.
She saw the call. Instantly rang
back, thinking that he must be on some tour and free from the haranguing guilt
and fear of being unfaithful.( He did that easily, switching back and forth, explained
that he was trained for it, being a scientist, he could be analytical to the
core, when he chose to.)
That was another SOP, he informed her whenever
he was away from home and could communicate freely. She then adjusted her
routine at home for those few days and they were on, again, on phone. It was as
if, then he was on leave, available exclusively for her and when he was back
home, he was on tour, for her; Confusing but convenient. It helped them to resolve
the family versus love conflict.
He picked the call. He was good
about that…had kept his promise. He would always pick the call or call back. “Always
there for you” he had said once.
” How are you?”she asked.
“Good.”He answered.
“Where are you?” She asked. “I am
here.”He said simply.
She was getting harried now,
already exhausted.“Please, no word games today. I am not well.” She was almost
upset now.
He instantly backed off, “Ok! Take
it easy. I was only joking.”
She felt that she was being rude.
“I am sorry. I was a little tired. Tell me?” She tried to be polite.
“Ok where are you?” he again
ventured. “I am at the city temple.” She answered.
“Can you come and meet me?” he
asked. Now she sensed that he was here. HERE!! in the city. Goosebumps on her arms
were a clear indication. She was not dressed for a date, but what the heck?!? She
asked her brother to take her to the market complex. Reaching there she saw him
standing near a shop, her heart skipped a beat. It always did.
She was elated, happy, surprised
but annoyed and very angry all at the same time. They started walking and she
was in a teary haze. She hit out at him. “Why didn’t you call me earlier? How
long have you been here? What is wrong?” He shuffled his feet, averted his gaze
and said,” I was very busy and then had to go to bhai’s place also. Remember I
never got to go anywhere last time. By the way you have gained weight.” His
tone was forcedly casual.
Tears welled up in her eyes now.
How could he do it? How could he come to the city and not inform her. She
should have known days back. Had he changed? Was he finally giving in to the
pull of propriety? Was he again facing the same dilemma which haunted his
convoluted sense of morality? He was always so upright and conscientious,
sometimes bordering on impractical and unrealistic. How could you want
something and deny it at the same time. He did love her or didn’t he? Was he
still grappling with the question that he had posed to Mitali three years back?
Three years ago, he had asked her
if it was possible to love more than one person simultaneously.
She had sensed it popping out
any time-Women have that intuitive power- and had hedged it by giving a long
winding answer about loving your parents, siblings and friends all together.
But he was persuasive and asked her again specifically...just so that he could
tell her that he STILL loved her!
What did he mean by STILL? She
never KNEW that he did at all. At least she was never sure. She had once wished
even hoped that he did though. But that was way back in high school.
They were classmates since class
II, literally grown up together but poles apart. He was the studious,
soft-spoken, simpleton who was more worried about doing well and ‘becoming
someone’. She was the outspoken, hyperactive; school-favourite who was
blissfully unaware of the charm she could spin. Total opposites!
She knew he kept sneaking glances
at her, looking sideways, staring when she was not looking but supposed that she
was imagining too much. And he was the only one she listened to. Once she was
sitting on the desk. He simply came up to her and scolded, “Cant you ever learn
to sit properly? Get off the desk immediately and sit down with your legs
closed.” She was stumped and immediately got down and sat lady-like. He now
told her, eighteen years later, that the sight of her sitting like that distracted
him and he was so agonised by the distance that he had to come and scold her.
He was going bonkers he said, just couldn’t concentrate on the chemistry
lessons!
They were in fact competitors
too. But she adored him. She harboured hope that one day he will do or say
something to show that he at least liked her. There was a spark but they were
both naive enough to not recognise it. Like when during play he held her wrist
and wouldn’t let go –not that she was trying! She wanted that moment to last
forever. He was holding her in a vice-like grip yet taking care not to hurt
her. All other girls were looking on open-mouthed, thinking; why wasn’t she
hitting out at him. She loved it and wanted time to be still for once. Then
someone pushed them and he released her. The moment gone, the chance lost.
Or when he lost his heart –again! She came to
school wearing a sari! She was the heroine of some play. He just couldn’t take
her eyes off. He was standing on the first floor landing and she was at the
foot of the stairs facing him asking another girl to adjust her sari. She
looked like a goddess, beautiful, vibrant, pure and virginal. He fell all over
again for her but as usual turned away as soon as she looked up. Another moment
lost, another chance gone.
He was in awe of her. That awe was agonising.
This was class X, he was sixteen, he thought,” I should at least tell her.” But
did not have the courage. He was hoping to become a microbiologist. Actually
that was what he was pinning all his hopes on...becoming a scientist and then
stealing the earth from beneath her feet. He wanted to be rich for her sake.
Her parents were better off by his standards. He didn’t realise at the time that it was a very
long term plan.
Fate or Destiny or whatever name
you give it had other plans. It hit her out of the blue!
His father was transferred. They were going
away—forever!
She wanted him to know. There was
no way her modesty would allow her to tell him. She bought a card about being
friends forever and wrote a nice little quote. Superscripting it ‘To, One of My
Oldest and Best Friends Ever’, borrowed a bicycle and went to say bye. He was
surprised to see her and as usual tongue tied. They left.
It was April, the cool month, the
Amaltas blossoms month. Spring.
Seventeen years later, It was April
again, she was preparing an internet project for one of her students when she
thought about checking a profile she had once created on a site which promised
to reunite you with your batch mates. A message lay in the inbox-
“Hi! Are you the same Mitali”. If
you are then I assume you will remember the name. Please revert on suveer123@yahoo.com if you do. Looking
forward to your response. Best Regards”.
Of course she did.
She replied in a cool tone that
she did and was happy to know that he was doing well for himself.
But she was married now, didn’t
want to invite censure from a doubting husband. She fabricated a tale of
convenient lies about her husband and family. Lies, because she couldn’t
disclose the truth that her husband was an alcoholic who was not able to fight
depression and that she was going through one of the worst phases of her life.
She wanted to avoid
communication, didn’t have anything to write about. But he persisted; he wanted
long answers to his e-mails. Wanted to know how she was doing, what had she
done after school and college. She apologised for not being able to keep in
touch. He thought she still didn’t care as she never did. But the pretense was
kept this time. Thank God for technology.
Her husband went to rehab, rather
was sent to it by the family. She had left home a week earlier after consistent
beatings and a failed suicide attempt. She started looking for work and found a
job as a tutor in an academy. Rest of the day she moped and cried sitting in
lonely corners
Amit, her brother introduced her to a social
networking site. He helped her to make a profile and encouraged her to find her
friends. She found some and then she found Veena her best friend. She wrote her
cell no in a message to her. Veena never called.
A week later, she was shopping
for some clothes with ma, when her phone rang. It was an unidentified number. A
strange voice was on the other side. It was Suveer!
He had read the message on
Veena’s page and finally gathered the courage to call her. She was busy but
didn’t want him to disappear again so she invited him to a chat on yahoo,
something she had learnt a day ago. He agreed for an hour later. Now she wanted
to get home early. She wanted to run home. Hope sprung afresh.
He was there at the appointed
hour. Another friend was also there. The chat started and one thing lead to
another. He wanted to know if she had old school photos. She did and promised
to get them next day. She again spun lies saying that her husband was abroad.
He could sense that something was wrong but didn’t want to hurry her. Dinesh,
the third guy also sensing that he was forgotten, excused himself from the chat. Mitali and Suveer
bid goodnight after exchanging the basic information and knowing about their
families and a promise to chat again at the same time next day.
The next day she had loads of
photographs. She scanned them all and sent it to him. He was only interested in
her photos. Then he sprang the first surprise , he had a picture of her She
felt ecstatic!! He told her that he had written to her after he left the city
but never got a reply. That was strange because she had replied. The letter got
lost!
She thought, “Are we
star-crossed?”
When she had not received a reply
to her letter, she had nursed a grudge, thinking that he had found new friends
in the new city and forgotten the old ones. Little did she know that her letter
never reached him and he was losing his health being morose and forlorn in that
forbidden place.He was so lost to the world that his mother feared him losing
his sanity. Then he plunged himself in study and found an escape from the deep
longing he felt for her. Knowing all this now after so long was jolting for
her.
She had decided to move on and
not lose life over something that had never happened but in her imagination.
Someone else proposed and she said yes! And then as her character was she
devoted herself to him.
Suveer wrote again…he was now a
microbiologist in biotech MNC. He sent her a photograph. He looked dashing. He
was suave and handsome in his khakis and pinstriped shirt and silk tie,
confident and smart. He always was good-looking. Tall with a set jaw line and fair
complexioned. She never replied. She was going to be married in two months…It
was too late.
She was jolted back from her
reverie. Her chat box was flashing.
“I love you. I love my wife but I
have always loved you since we were in class 5 and I still do.” Suveer wrote in
the chat box. “I have been looking for
you for the last 17 years. I need you to know this that’s all.”
She was stupefied, numbed with
shock. He told her that he came looking for her after he secured a job but she
was already married by then.
“I never fell out of love with
you.” He explained. “But you were out of reach now”, he complained.
“Last year when I was alone on an
assignment in Egypt, you appeared in my dream. I felt you were in some sort of
trouble and needed me. I started searching for you, tried many old contacts but
you had just disappeared. Then suddenly I saw your profile on that site and
messaged you.” He wrote in one flow.
“You again responded in a semidetached way, but this time
I was determined to hold on to you!” He almost shouted on the chat. “That is
why I kept writing.” She thanked her stars for this small mercy.
“Now will you please come clean
and tell me what’s wrong with your life?” He urged. “don’t lie any more, alright?” He typed fervently. “I know something is drastically wrong.”
She was touched. She couldn’t lie
to him any more. Her life was a wreck anyway, so it would not make any difference if he knew. At least she will have someone to confide in, without being judged.
She knew intuitively that he will listen.
He had a night shift. She asked if she could
call as they couldn’t possibly chat when he worked. He said he would call her
in an hour. He called her and they started talking.
The night flew. She told him all.
How her husband, the man she had loved and given up everything for beat her up
didn’t trust her and didn’t fulfill any of his responsibilities. She told him
about the beatings, sexual abuse and suicide. He was furious!
Suveer scolded her, consoled her,
sympathised with her and simply LISTENED. Night after night she poured out all
her anguish and he simply listened and gathered it all in his heart. He healed
her. He reminded her how popular she was. He told her that he wanted to see her
confident and spirited again. He told her that he was still enamored with her
beauty and how he was not the only one.
They talked incessantly,
exchanged long worded e-mails, sent each other love songs and he asked for
recent photographs. They were in love and this time they knew it.
Slowly and surely Mitali
rediscovered herself, through Suveer’s eyes. She felt loved…so loved and cared
for that she wanted to live again. He made her exercise, study further, pray,
eat and LIVE. She was happy…just happy again!. She felt immensely loved and
adored, a feeling she had forgotten completely.
He was torn between his loving
family and this childhood love. She had to decide if she wanted to get back to
her husband who was going to be back soon. They decided to let things be. They
could not hurt their loved ones so they hid it from all. They were friends
first and always. But deep in their hearts they would now know always that they
were SOULMATES, who would always love each other.
They went back to their families.
Resigned themselves to their fate but now wowed never to lose touch. Friends in
this life and soulmates in the next.
Then a year later came a call
that he was coming to her city. She was all agog with anxiety. It was as if she
was a 16 year old with butterflies doing a constant dance in her stomach!
He came, they met and she was on
the top of the world. She was awash with pleasure and exhilaration. She could
see the admiration and unabashed love in his eyes. They had the best time of
their lives. They visited their old haunts, the school, the gurudwara near the
school, the famous temple near the city, the park near the school. They met
friends, spent time together, shopped, and went on a drive to the hills. She
cooked for him and he ate the spicy food without complaining although he
despised chillies. They did all they were never able to do together and gathered
for themselves their own private treasures. She even took him to meet her
parents. Every day he brought her gifts.
The sexual undercurrent was
always there. They kept the distance. He hugged her brother and she felt
jealous, all she was getting were polite half-hugs! THAT was unfair. She
decided to be brash and ask for it.
She sent him a text message- ‘Would
you give me something?’
He was surprised-‘Anything you ask’-he
replied.
‘I want two things and I am not
taking a ‘no’ from you!’ She texted again
‘Don’t worry...you have a blanket
yes from me.’ He assured, wondering where it was leading to and calculating his
finances. He had already bought her clothes and knick-knacks.
‘First, I want something that
will always remind me of you, something that I can keep close to my heart and
preserve forever. Second I want a full blown, warm and tight hug from you.’ She
wrote with trembling fingers.
‘I am game about the first one,’
he wrote, ‘but the second one is tough. I am human too!. How will I resist you
and know when to stop.’
‘I don’t know about all that, a
hug is long overdue. I deserve it. It’s just a hug after all!’ She pressed on
adamantly.
They met that day again; she
wouldn’t allow any day to pass without meeting. He bought her a pendant to hang
in her necklace. Something she could keep close to her heart. It was exquisite.
He dropped her back. The next day she went to pick him up.
“What about my second gift?” she
was bent on it now. He didn’t say a word. He simply gathered her in her arms
and hugged her so tight that she thought she would break.
It was his last day here. “Why
didn’t you ask for this 18 years ago?” he asked painfully. “I would have told
you to wait for me and swept you off your feet after I became what I did.”
“I didn’t know you liked me so
much! I thought you were the serious type.” She said reproaching.
“I am glad I found you and we met.
I thank God for these wonderful 18 days. I lived my lost 18 years in these. The
only thing I regret is that this will die with me. I found the girl I loved
forever and she loves me back too, but I can’t share it with a single soul in
my life.” He lamented shaking his head.
“We know now! That’s enough!” She
consoled him.
He dragged her to the looking
glass on the wall. He was standing behind her, his arms around her waist. “Whenever
I look in the mirror now, I will see me standing behind you. You must also
remember me like this, always there behind you.”
They promised that they will
never lose each other. Since then they had called each other, sent messages,
connected on social networking site. He rang her when he was out on tour, and
they always reconnected with a vengeance and unprecedented passion. They knew
they were lucky to have each other, few people get such chances.
Mitali still helped herself to
sleep after she thought once again about those stolen 18 days of her life. That
was her private treasure, her salvation, her panacea from all the pain and
trouble that she ever faced.
One day on the phone Mitali
simply said, “Remember you asked me once if one could love two people at the
same time. YES one CAN. You do and I do too.”
They had both realised that soul-mates
may not necessarily be your life mates…they are just there and your heart knows
one when it comes across one.
