Thursday, February 5, 2015

4 things I learnt - “Turning Forty”

Wanted to write something on the lines of 10 best things that happen to you at forty but realized that it is not my style

I can surely say that I learnt at least ‘One Big Idea’ in a decade.

Decade One- Effort Is All What It Takes:
 The first 10 years were full of play and carefree times. I remember when I didn’t score that well in grade 5 (I did well but not by my teachers’ or parents’ standards) My mom told me that if I studied more I would score more and I shot back that if no effort brings in this so many marks, why make an effort!!! Yet I decided to work more and see if it made a difference and it did! So here’s a toast to my Mom and Dad who left no stones un-turned to make a better person

Decade Two- Friends Are For Life And Love Is Fickle:
The friends I made back then are still in my life and still care a lot…They won’t let me cry, they won’t let me mope and my happiness is still important to them. Even those who were in love including me and those around me are better friends till date than they are lovers. Siblings too and in my case specially I forged a loving and enduring bond which is solid support. So here’s another toast, for my dearest Brother Abhishek to everyone but my Chintu.

Decade Three- If Life Gives You Lemons Make Lemonade And Drink It Away
It was mostly rough when carving a niche in the world but there were beautiful intervals of love and fulfillment, what with a child coming in your life! Naman my son has completed me with being born to me. Struggle, bad relationships, losses all can be taken in stride when you see an innocent face smiling at you. At this you also learn to deal with the world. It can take you on a ride this decade and then throw you flat on your face. What is essential is that you rise up again and start walking again. Here my adopted family, my in-laws came into picture and what a beautiful family it has turned out to be, enlightened, broadminded and loving. Thanks to them I am what I am today! Especially my father –in-law who valued me and loved me just like his own daughter.

Decade Four- Life Goes On!
Life goes on! It transforms you, breaks you, chisels you and you find your own self. For me my thirties turned out to be self-exploratory. I looked more within, became a more balanced person, calmer, more at ease with myself and peaceful. I experienced extremes of anger and hatred from others and from within myself but learnt to deal with it. Some beautiful people came in my life and changed it forever. Saroj I Love you! And Asheesh – you changed my life. Love the most illusionary mirage let me discover itself.
Tragedy struck and I lost my life partner. It all stopped for some time but then came the most valuable lesson; you have to go on. The memories remain but the person is not there. You can’t die with him, so better live and live the way he would have wanted you to! Here too friends and family again stood by me but the one person who was rock solid was my Bhabhi; Ashima you are the only actually named here. I love you!

So here I am toasting my 40th with the people I love and cherish and with the memories of my late husband, who had always wanted me to live, grow and have a good time. I know Raman you would be happy to see me happy.